Wednesday, February 9, 2011

How To Eat a Tear Jerker

Last Saturday we were in Salina celebrating my niece's 2nd birthday. Cade decided it was time to try a tear jerker for the first time. I mean, why not, right? He's tried a Warheads and survived. How bad could it be?

Step 1: Pop in mouth. Try to ignore initial shock of sour taste.
(The involuntary eye twitch in response to sour gives it away every time.)

Step 2: Keep a brave face as the taste buds begin to revolt and gag reflex tries to emerge.

Step 3: By now, it's ok to give in to the facial muscle spasms that ensue. It's all you can do to keep the blasted thing in your mouth.

Step 4: Regain control of facial muscles as the tongue is now becoming numb.

Step 5: Again, the involuntary eye twitch is hard to avoid. No matter. You're almost there.
Just go with it.

Step 6: The sensation is returning. The sour is just. Too. Much.

Step 7: Fight the urge to retch.

Step 8: Realize resistance is futile. Find nearest receptacle and projectile-expectorate it as quickly as you can.

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